How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
