Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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