I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
