this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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