I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
