Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
