Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
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