she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I think your dad took our porno
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
