i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
