her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I showed him my bush... on skype.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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