the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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