Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
