Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
