I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
