Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
