...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Randomize