apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
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