You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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