is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
