the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
