The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I licked your asshole in confidence.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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