I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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