Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Randomize
