UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
