I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
