You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
