im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize