when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
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