he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
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