I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
