Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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