Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
