we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
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