you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
