Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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