Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
