Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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