Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
