you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
