I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
