I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
