It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
This house was built for laser tag.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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