could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
if only i could text you this smell
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
