Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
