now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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