he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
That reminds me...we need to get swords
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Randomize