Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
