i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
