ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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