I never want to see another naked old woman again.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
