that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
whose ass print is on the piano?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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