it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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