i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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