My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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