Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize