wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
