im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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