I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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