i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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