I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Randomize
