I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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