In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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