how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize