i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
It's rum buckets o'clock
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
