I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
