I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
