So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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