Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
