considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Randomize
